Dirty Rice, Vegetarian

This will be the foundation of our New Year’s Eve dinner. We are also roasting veggies on the grill. They will be served over the rice with an Orange Ginger Sauce.

Brown rice, cooked according to package directions.

3 T. butter, olive oil or ghee

1/2 c. chopped onion

1/2 chopped red bell pepper (or yellow or green)

1/4 c. cashews

2 t. sesame seeds

2 t. flax seeds

2 T. sunflower seed kernels

2-3 T. pumpkin seeds (shelled)

2 – 3 T. pine nuts

1 t. grated fresh ginger

2 cloves garlic, crush

Soy sauce, to taste

Sesame oil, to taste

Make rice according to package directions. Heat butter (or equivalent) in skillet. Saute onions, bell pepper, garlic and ginger until transparent. Add nuts and seeds stirring often until they are slightly roasted. Stir in rice. Add soy sauce and sesame oil for flavor. Go easy on sesame oil if you aren’t used to using it. A little goes a long way.

Feel free to add, delete, or adjust seed and nut combinations to your liking.

New Year’s Resolutions

It’s almost time to declare our New Year’s Resolutions to our families and friends in the hopes that making our intention public will somehow enhance our possibility of success. Before the end of January, resolutions to lose weight, quit smoking, exercise more, swear less, etc, etc, etc, will all be forgotten. For a short time there is a little tug of guilt, which soon fades, and everything returns to the status quo.

This year, try something new. Something possible. Something that gives you a new opportunity every day. For 2008, resolve to touch, move and inspire those around you.

Consider the possibilities. Happy New Year.

Recipe: Pico de Gallo

This is quick and easy to put together. Serve with tortilla chips.

WW points: 0    But watch the tortilla chips!

2 cups fresh tomatoes, chopped

1/4 cup red onions, coarsely chopped

1 clove garlic, minced

2-3 T fresh cilantro, chopped

1/2 t olive oil

juice of half a lime

pinch of kosher salt

Toss it all together, gently. Can be served immediately, but tastes best when it’s had an hour or so to blend flavors. Garnish with cilantro or avocado.

Gift Giving: Mastering the Fine Art of Survival

The holidays are here again, it’s gift-giving and -getting time. Your mission is twofold: 1) to find suitable gifts to give, and 2) to let family and friends know just what you need to make you complete. This is a simple thing only for children under the age of 13. Until then, all that is required is a simple wish list, handed over to the parental units who in turn direct it to Santa or the mysterious god of gifts. However, upon reaching the age of 13, gifting turns into a dangerous and complicated dance. It requires a kind of finesse for which few young people (and many older people) are tragically unprepared.

Because there are cultural expectations and obligations associated with gift-giving, it is difficult to avoid it completely. Even those who choose not to give gifts are sometimes presented with one. A little extra preparation can smooth the rough spots in the gifting process. There is hope. The following suggestions are made based on years of personal experience and anecdotal stories from furious friends.

TO GIVE OR NOT TO GIVE

It’s a good question and the answer depends on the circumstance. If it’s your brother’s wedding, you really should make an appropriate offering. If you are just feeling confused by the office psycho, who hates everyone all year and then delivers presents at the holidays, don’t worry about it. You are under no obligation to compete. Check with Miss Manners for some good reasons to avoid the office gift exchange.

A good rule of thumb is to take care of family and friends you know you want to give to. A nice card, or a warm wish, should do it for anyone else. You are under NO OBLIGATION to spend money just to “look good”.

You should probably be prepared to present a thoughtful gift to your significant other for birthdays, anniversaries, and of course, the “holidays”. This is where the going gets tough and the outcome of all your good thoughts and planning can fall to pieces in a single moment. Take a deep breath, remind yourself that you are not alone, and go forth into the marketplace steeled with the knowledge that even in the worst case, you will probably survive the trauma.

ADVICE FOR GIRLFRIENDS*

• Be reasonable, unless you are dating a multi-kabillionaire. In that case, go for it. Demanding an expensive gift is not a good way to find out if he cares. If he’s smart, it’s a good clue for him to dump you. Mention something nice, but affordable. Don’t ever put a friend in the awkward position of not being able to afford your request. If you get something more than what you expected, well, that’s a pleasant surprise and kind of a gift in itself.
• Make a couple of suggestions. This allows your gift-giver to exercise some personal preference, which makes gift-giving a whole lot more fun.
• Don’t be a coy martyr type. Don’t say anything remotely resembling “I don’t need anything, just being near you makes me happy” unless you really mean it. If you expect or want a present, then don’t pretend otherwise. Head games are a huge waste of time and cause unnecessary pain and aggravation for everyone. If you want a present, open your mouth (sweetly) and say what it is. If you say you don’t want anything and that’s exactly what you get, then just smile and shut up. It’s what you asked for.
• Don’t ask everyone (boyfriend, parents, aunts, uncles and cousins) for the same thing. It can only lead to disaster. Not only is there the possibility that you will end up with numerous “somethings”, but everyone who gives you that same something will feel cheated of the pleasure of being “the one” who gave you something special. (Remember, people want to do something special for you. Gift-giving is supposed to have benefits. Don’t deprive them of that opportunity.)
• Do not rely on your BFF to tell your BF what to get for you. Third party communication may not be effective. Speak for yourself.
• Once you declare your desire, do NOT drive everyone crazy asking them if that’s what your getting. JUST LEAVE IT ALONE! Surprise is an element of gift giving. Don’t ruin it for both of you.
• Accept that he is free to get you something other than what you requested.
• Never, ever, ever, expect that your boyfriend will communicate with your parents about a gift. This is planet Earth. That does not happen here.

ADVICE FOR BOYFRIENDS

• If you can get her what she wants, great. But it is fine to get her something you want her to have.
• Clarify any communication related to gift-giving. Ask specifically, “What would you like from me for [Christmas, Kwanza, birthday, summer solstice]?”
• Her girlfriends should be considered only casual consultants, not gospel.
• If, in an alien moment, you decide you need additional input, contact her parents or siblings. It might prevent unpleasant surprises later.
• Notice that nothing in the “Boyfriend” section deals with getting what you want. It is all about navigating what SHE wants without any permanent scars.
• It doesn’t matter. She will get you what she thinks you should have, anyway.

ADVICE FOR EVERYONE

• Don’t spend more than you can comfortably afford.
• Listen for ideas, but make the final decision yourself.
• Don’t spend countless hours harassing anyone to either guess what you got them, or to tell you what they got you.
• If you don’t receive what you wanted, be gracious. Don’t hurt the giver’s feelings. You might actually like this unexpected thing.
• If the recipient seems less than enthusiastic about your gift, also be gracious. This might provide one of those important relationship clues. Think about it.
• Remember that this is supposed to make people happy.

Long-term couples might consider the same guidelines. With practice, luck, and experience, the gift giving experience evolves over time into something mutually agreeable and hopefully pleasant. Navigating the gift-giving minefield can be successfully accomplished through thorough communication, a vivid imagination, and a very thick skin. The best gifts come from your heart, not the list.

Recipients have obligations, too. Be gracious, even if the gift is other than hoped for. By definition a gift is something given freely, and therefore not in your control. If, upon opening your gift you are overwhelmed by disappointment (or rage), do your self the very great favor of saying something brilliant, such as “Oh! My goodness, what a surprise!” and then excusing yourself for a few moments, if necessary. Take a deep breath while you remember your manners. Probably no one else thinks the gift is so terrible; if you act like a spoiled brat now, you’ll look really bad for a very long time. Deal with it later. It’s probably not that big a deal, really.

In each place there are customs that influence gifts. Often, advertising drives the gift train. Don’t get caught up in the commercial stuff. Give from the heart, and adamantly maintain “it’s the thought that counts”. Life will be a lot simpler. Trust me.

*The roles assigned here are based on common stereotypes. The guidelines are not intended to apply to only one gender. Should you recognize yourself in any of the above, please conduct yourself appropriately.

(Really) Plan Your Campus Visit

One of the best ways to determine if a college is right for you is to visit the campus and see how it feels. Reputation is important in choosing your school, but it is also important that the environment suits you. Only you can decide if a particular college is the best fit for you. When visiting campus, there’s a lot of information to gather. Planning ahead will make campus visits flow smoothly and allow you to get all the information you need.

It’s important to do this right the first time, because it might be your only visit before you have to decide where you will go to college. Imagine the difference between a campus visit where you are expected, and one where you drop in late on Friday afternoon and announce:

“Hi! We just flew in from (pick anyplace) and wondered if we could get a tour?”

Too often, this is what students and parents do. Most schools have scheduled tour times. It’s silly to think that there is someone paid to sit around and wait for people to request random tours. At best, you’ll drag someone away from their schedule and they will do the best they can to talk to you and show you something. You won’t see the good stuff you might have seen if you had planned ahead. You owe it to yourself to do it right.

When to Visit
The best time to visit is when the campus is active. You’ll want to talk with other students, meet with advisers, and perhaps attend a class or two. This gives you insight into the learning environment. If you are a freshman, try to see a typical freshman class in your intended major. You should also visit the housing office if you plan to live on campus. If you plan to live off campus, then you should use this time to explore housing options in the community.

Don’t plan to visit:

• During college spring break.
• During winter break (Christmas through New Year’s Day).
• The day before or after Thanksgiving
• Final or mid-term exam weeks
• Reading days
• During the first week of the semester

Monday through Thursday is the best time to find a campus in full swing. Some colleges offer visits on Fridays and Saturdays. Do some research ahead of time so you know what you want to see and who you want to meet with. Make appointments!

Get the Most from the Experience

Do:

• Call ahead and schedule an appointment with the visitors’ office or your planned program of study. This will ensure that you are expected and that the people you need to see have set aside time for you. Most offices will do their best to accommodate drop-ins, but it’s in your best interest to plan ahead. Many offices will assist you in developing an itinerary for your visit.
• Ask if there are regularly scheduled sessions for visitors; these often provide tours of facilities and opportunities to meet with current students.
• Visit colleges under serious consideration before the acceptance letters are sent out so you have enough time to fully evaluate each campus. Visiting during your junior year of high school can help you determine where you really want to apply.
• Have a list of questions that you want answered and make notes of other items that come up during meetings. This gives you a good data set for comparisons once you get home.
  Need some help? Here’s a list to get you started.

Don’t

• Drop in late on Fridays or just before holidays when staff is likely to be at a minimum.
• Let your parents do all the talking. You are the one that will be enrolled.
• Make assumptions based on what your currently enrolled friends have told you. They are often new to the system and might not be experts on your intended major.
• Assume that the answers will be the same at all institutions. Ask questions.
• Be afraid to ask why you should attend this college rather than your other choices. You will often learn some very useful facts.

Final Assessment

Does this seem like a place where you would be comfortable and happy for the next four years? Does the campus seem welcoming or overwhelming? Is the setting a good fit for your preferences and personality? Does it offer extracurricular opportunities that are important to you? Is it financially feasible?

Your academic success and your personal well-being will depend on your answers to these questions. A campus visit is the best way to gather the information you need to succeed.

Oh, and did I mention that you should make an appointment?

Virtual Classes: What Every Parent and Student Should Know

Education is actively participating in the explosion of web-based technology. Classes once taught in a traditional classroom are now available online at both high school and college levels. The new technology provides a variety of new options and issues, along with benefits and concerns. Web based classes can be a big boon to students, but student and parents must fully understand what is needed for the student to succeed.

ADVANTAGES

• Flexibility and freedom. No physical attendance is required. Can schedule around jobs or other activities.
• Can catch up more easily than traditional classes.
• Can keep up with class work even when circumstances take the student away from campus.

REQUIREMENTS FOR SUCCESS

• Self motivation. Students must be able to complete work on their own.
• Good organizational skills. Able to understand all course requirements and schedule course work. Must thoroughly understand all requirements.
• Good reading ability. Most online courses require reading online and creating assignments from the readings.
• Good time management skills. Leaving virtual classes until last is tempting when other classes demand immediate attention.

HAZARDS TO WATCH FOR

• “Out of sight, out of mind.” Virtual classes can be easy to “forget”.
• Students who don’t like reading may fare poorly.
• Lack of student/teacher interaction can reduce student motivation to achieve.
• Students who are not self-motivated or not well organized tend to struggle to complete work on time.

Web based courses do offer many advantages by allowing students to meet academic requirements in a nontraditional and flexible setting. However, not every student is well-prepared for the demands of these courses. Students who have been schooled only in traditional classroom settings will find that they are much more in charge of their academic progress in a virtual class and may not always understand how to succeed. In these classes, management of time is totally the student’s responsibility. They must include all online coursework in their time management plans for the semester. There are few prep classes (if any) that teach students how to succeed in this new environment. This information comes mostly from the online class itself, and may be a little mysterious to a newcomer. Being aware of requirements allows students to take advantage of freedoms allowed by technology, but it is very important that they have some guidelines for success.

STRATEGIES FOR ONLINE SUCCESS

• Create a notebook for the online class, just like a traditional class.
• Print the syllabus.
• Put all quiz, test, and assignment dates on the same calendar as other classes.
• Keep a printed copy in the notebook of all assignments. When submitting a quiz or test, print whatever page shows that the work was submitted. (This can be of great value in the case of technological issues.)
• Make contact with the instructor, even if it is not a requirement of the class. Send an email stating that assignments have been submitted, and request a reply in the event that they were not received. (Even if you do not get a reply, this provides some amount of documentation that the assignment was submitted.)
• Request a progress report from the instructor. These are often included as part of the online course. It is important to know where you stand at all times, just like any other class.

Take advantage of all the options. High school students can accelerate their graduation date or earn grade forgiveness through programs like the Florida Virtual School. This is a wonderful opportunity for many students. Online college courses allow students to be enrolled while they are away for internships or other reasons. While the courses are online, the amount of work and motivation required does not diminish. In fact, self-motivation becomes the main ingredient in success.

Notes on the GED (General Equivalency Diploma)

I’m an academic snob. It’s an occupational hazard in my world, but it started long ago. When I first moved to Florida most of the state universities were only two-year schools; they enrolled junior and senior students only. With only a year and a half of college credits, I was not eligible for admission to the regional university. Coming from New England where there are Ivy League schools in abundance, I could not bring myself to enroll in a community college to complete the hours needed to enroll in an upper level university. Finally, that’s what I did. From Broward Community College I transferred to Florida Atlantic University, then enrolled in graduate school at the University of Florida, where fate had it that I got a graduate assistant position working for the Dean of Community College Relations. Karma? You bet. I learned a lot about Florida’s community college system, did my graduate research on it, and went on to direct community college relations for many years.

Since then, I have done a lot to promote community colleges as an excellent place to start a four year degree program. Classes are smaller, students have more flexibility to explore options for majors, and community college transfer students succeed with a rate equal to students who begin at four-year schools as freshmen.

Now I have learned something else about academic snobbery. Recently, I have worked with several very bright students who seemed so burned out on high school that there was no chance that they would graduate. Some had pursued Dual Enrollment, where they learned that skipping classes was easy. Some just lost their motivation entirely. Many phone calls from many freaked-out parents led me to believe that some of our brightest students were about to become statistics. What is a parent to do in this situation? Pray, nag, and lecture. None of these things is likely to produce a remarkable change in your frustrated student. Still, I did not see any options until I went to dinner with a friend who has a very highly regarded position at my university. She opened my eyes to something I never would have considered.

My friend makes a handsome salary and holds a prestigious position. She was very willing to share with me that she bailed on high school and completed the GED many years ago. It was enough to allow her to enroll in college, to finish her business degree (at a highly ranked university) and pursue a career that has been stellar. She made a conscious decision to pursue an alternate path, and it has never hindered her success. In fact, it probably accelerated her success by giving her faith in the power of her choices.

Today’s GED is different from the GED of the past. For those of you who see it as a badge of shame, then shame on you for being narrow-minded. It is a real high school graduation diploma. It allows students to pursue all possible options (except for two branches of the military).

In my case, it allowed my student, who is considered “gifted” but was failing everything, a way to reduce stress and refocus. By withdrawing from the day to day classes, and focusing on passing the test, he was able to undo a whole year of misery and defeat. He can enroll in his college program as planned; this would not be possible if the GED had not been an option.

Today’s GED is not what it used to be. It is a real high school diploma, issued by the state of Florida, virtually indistinguishable from a traditional HS diploma. While I totally promote the traditional track for any student who can do it, it’s important to know that there are options for students who don’t fit well into that traditional track. It’s even more important to understand that taking the nontraditional path does not close doors to the future.

Did I mention my friend who wrote his first marketable software program at the age of 12 and then “dropped out” of high school? He earned his GED, went on to higher level education, and now makes over $250,000 a year as a computer engineer. The GED won’t guarantee your student this level of income, but it’s something to consider when your kid just can’t seem to deal with the high school issues any longer.

High school is filled with stress and drama. Issues may be academic, social, or developmental. Kids tend to react to stress in many different ways. When a student seems determined to sabotage every parental rescue effort, it might be time to consider relieving the stress. Helping your child to find an alternative route to success might be the greatest gift you can offer. If this happens soon enough, it’s possible for GED candidate to graduate ahead of their class. Even if it’s a last minute option, the GED prep classes are easily completed and the high school diploma can be attained in sufficient time to start post-secondary course work.

The GED is not the option most parents want (or need) to consider. But it’s a reasonable option when traditional pathways are not working.
Want to talk more about it? Email me.

Questions to Ask on a Campus Visit

Need some help generating questions for a campus visit? Here are some ideas to get you started.

• Rankings
• Internship opportunities
• Research opportunities
• Campus life
• Student organizations
• Study abroad programs
• Honors program
• What makes this college stand out?
• Advising
• Tutoring and help sessions
• Transition programs for freshmen
• Orientation program
• Work-study options
• Research opportunities

Make the Most of Campus Visits

One of the best ways to determine if a college is right for you is to visit the campus and see how it feels. While a college’s reputation is important in making your decision, it is also very important that the environment suits you. Only you can decide if a particular college is the best fit for you. When visiting campus, there are many pieces of information to gather. Planning ahead will make campus visits flow smoothly and allow you to get all the information you want.

When to Visit
The best time to do this is when the campus is active. You’ll want to talk with other students, meet with advisers, and perhaps attend a class or two. You should also visit the housing office if you plan to live on campus. If you plan to live off campus, then you should use this time to explore options.

Don’t plan to visit:

• During college spring break
• During winter break (Christmas through New Year’s Day)
• The day before or after Thanksgiving
• Final or mid-term exam weeks
• Reading days
• During the first week of the semester

Monday through Thursday is the best time to find a campus in full swing. Some colleges offer structured programs on Fridays and Saturdays. Do some research ahead of time so you know what you want to see and who you want to meet with. Make appointments!

Get the Most from the Experience

Do:

• Call ahead and schedule an appointment with the visitors’ office or your planned program of study. This will ensure that you are expected and that the people you need to see have set aside time for you. Most offices will do their best to accommodate drop-ins, but it’s in your best interest to plan ahead. Many offices will assist you in developing an itinerary for your visit.
• Ask if there are regularly scheduled sessions for visitors; these often provide tours of facilities and opportunities to meet with current students.
• Visit colleges under serious consideration before the acceptance letters are sent out so you have enough time to fully evaluate each campus. Visiting during your junior year of high school can help you determine where you really want to apply.
• Have a list of questions that you want answered and make notes of other items that come up during meetings. This give you a good data set for comparisons once you get home. Need some help? Here’s a list to get you started.

Don’t

• Drop in late on Fridays or just before holidays when staff is likely to be at a minimum.
• Let your parents do all the talking. You are the one that will be enrolled.
• Make assumptions based on what your currently enrolled friends have told you. They are often new to the system and might not be experts on your intended major.
• Assume that the answers will be the same at all institutions. Ask questions.
• Be afraid to ask why you should attend this college rather than your other choices. You will often learn some very useful facts.

Final Assessment

Does this seem like a place where you would be comfortable and happy for the next four years? Does the campus seem welcoming or overwhelming? Is the setting a good fit for your preferences and personality? Does it offer extracurricular opportunities that are important to you? Is it financially feasible?

Your academic success and your personal well-being will depend on your answers to these questions. A campus visit is the best way to gather the information you need to succeed.

Advanced Placement Credit

This is the typical scenario:

A proud parent and her highly motivated student arrive on campus to discuss why this university should consider this student. “I’ve completed all my General Education requirements through AP classes,” beams the student. As an academic advisor, I stifle a groan.

Many students enter universities today with Advanced Placement (AP) credit. It’s a good thing. It provides college credit toward degrees at no cost, and it allows students to be challenged in courses more rigorous than typical high school courses. AP credit can also free students from summer enrollment requirements. Students enrolling in Florida state universities will not be required to complete summer hours if they enroll with at least 9 hours of Advanced Placement credit.

Parents and students often feel that AP credit should substitute for college credit, and in some cases, this is OK. Sometimes, though, it’s important to understand that university or college level courses might be more demanding than AP courses considered to be “equivalent”.

If your student is completing AP credits, here are some things to think about:

• What is your expectation for preparation for college level courses?
• How much AP credit do you expect to apply to a Bachelor’s degree?
• Will high school AP credit provide the necessary foundation for future courses?

AP courses are more rigorous than other high school classes. Students must pass a standardized test in order to receive college credit. Passing that test does not necessarily mean that a student has mastered all the concepts taught in the “equivalent” course at the college level. Depending on the program of study your student intends to follow, it can often be best to consider AP courses as foundation courses, preparing students to excel in the equivalent university level course.

Exceptionally talented students are often subjected to pressure to “be ahead.” Usually, they live up to the demand. But it can be in a good student’s best interest to start math and science sequences at the college level. Frequently, concepts covered in the first college level class are beyond what was covered in AP classes. Professional schools of medicine, dentistry, and veterinary medicine will expect to see foundation course work done at the university level.

The first freshman term is a transitional term. Your student will be living away from home for the first time, she’ll have a new roommate, she’ll be faced with new decisions. Do you really want her to go into Calculus 2 based on just her high school work? An “A” in Calculus 1 could go a long way to reducing stress during the transitional semester, making sure your student has the proper foundation knowledge, and achieving a strong grade point average.

Talk to the advisors in your student’s program. They are best suited to help you determine placement. Do not assume that credit for an AP class is necessarily equivalent to mastery of skills at the college level. Give careful consideration to the consequences of completing all “General Education” requirement through AP credits. You might be eliminating opportunities to explore possibilities at the college level.

You only get to be an undergraduate once. Opportunities for internships, study abroad, and research abound. AP credit can provide many advantages for students, provided that they fully understand the courses how Advanced Placement work fits into the college program of study.